


Summer Vacation

by hgiel



Series: Pop Culture High Series [3]
Category: C-Pop, H.O.T., K-pop, Shinhwa
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 15:10:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/297185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hgiel/pseuds/hgiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the end...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony, Woo Hyuk, Kang Ta, Moon Hee Jun, Dong Wan, and Minwoo sat in the very back of the assembly even though they were the only students left. In the front were a bunch of strangers they hadn’t ever seen before.

Do Hyun took the mic. “Congratulations on failing, are you happy now? I hope you enjoy spending the summer trapped in school. I know I will. Here is Professor Seo.”

Tai Ji gave him a kiss as they crossed paths then he glared out into the audience.

“For summer school, you’ll be joined by a remedial class from a local public school. Try to make them feel comfortable, and I shouldn’t have to add this, but I will, incase I haven’t told you enough...No murdering or raping any of them, or each other.”

“All of the new students stand when I read your name.” Professor Seo instructed the 13 new students. “Lee Teuk, Kang In, Dong Hee, Hee Chul, Ki Bum, Han Geng, Shi Won...No more names are listed but there is a note here that says they’re the only name’s we’ll end up needing to know in a few years. Also, there may be more of you? Depending on stock shares? I don’t know what the fuck that’s about.” He tossed the paper aside and clutched the podium in his fists, leaning forward to look the new kids in the eyes. “I don’t want any trouble out of you guys. You’re parents signed a waver, so whatever happens to you here isn’t our responsibility. I’ll give you a little advice, clench your assholes tight at night.”

“Who needs their assholes? Look at those pretty little mouths.” Kang Ta whispered as he leaned over to see. Hee Jun stomped his foot and Kang Ta sat up with a smile. “None are as pretty as yours.” He said, kissing them.

“Don’t you guys.” Tony whispered. “We’ll get in trouble.”

“Are you kidding?” Woo Hyuk scoffed. “Apparently you can do anything in this school and never get in trouble. Go ahead, blow each other. I bet none of the staff even blinks.” He hadn’t meant to say it so loudly, but now all the new classmates were looking back at them with wide eyes. “Oh grow up!” He snapped at them.

“Okay, new kids, go find your rooms and unpack.” Tai Ji ordered.

“Let’s take Tony back so he can get some rest.” Kang Ta said.

“I’m not that far along.” Tony reminded him. “I can’t rest all the time.”

“Hey, we have no idea what’s going on in there.” Kang Ta said, pointing at Tony’s stomach. “It could just be floating around in there. If you move too much it may get stuck in your urethra.”

Minwoo gagged. “Do you guys have to talk about that freak baby all the time?”

Dong Wan spoke before Kang Ta could even gasp. “You know what, shut your fucking mouth you cock sucker.”

“Woah, Dong Wan got cool.” Hee Jun said.

“What’s the matter with you?” Minwoo demanded.

“If you don’t love me then I don’t want to see you ever again. I don’t want to smell you, or hear you.” Dong Wan told him.

“Smell him?” Tony asked.

“Hey, I’m the one who’s pissed at YOU.” Minwoo reminded him. “You ruined my life!”

“Oh get the fuck over it!” Dong Wan snapped. “So you died a few times, you’re back! And so everyone knows you’re gay, they would find out eventually! You could have it a lot worse off. Look at Woo Hyuk!”

Woo Hyuk’s jaw clenched.

“Let me ask you something.” Dong Wan asked with a sarcastic sweetness. “Do you think I should forgive you for everything you’ve said to me? Would you if you were me?”

Minwoo fought the urge to talk but “No.” blurted out.

“There you go.” Dong Wan said, self satisfied, and walked off.

“I’m so fucking tired of this curse!” Minwoo thundered.

“Well then take care of it.” Kang Ta said easily.

“HOW?!”

“Lee Hyuk will know how. Go find him.”

“He’s in a cage under the school with Harisu and some dude from Star Trek.” Hee Jun informed Minwoo. “Professor Seo made me in charge of bringing them food.”

“That’s right.” Kang Ta said, patting Hee Jun’s head. “And most of it makes it down there.”

\-----

Tony lay on the top bunk in his room while Dong Wan moped on the bottom, and Kang Ta sat in the rocking chair.

“You two look so depressed.” Kang Ta noted. “Broken hearted.”

They both nodded.

“But Tony, why are you broken hearted? You’re having the love of your life’s baby.”

“And I’m still a virgin! I thought I would at least have sex before I had a kid...”

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Dong Wan muttered.

“Hey, the reason Woo Hyuk hasn’t slept with you is because he’s under a lot of stress. You just need to take charge. Trust me, as soon as you get your claws into him you’ll never shake him off. Just go get him. And you,” He said to Dong Wan. “We’ll find you someone who isn’t a temperamental closet case or a deranged zombie from the future. Ever hear of speed dating?”

\-----

Hello World, this is God’s blog.

Just a few things I want to get to in my first post.

First, stop being gay. I’m against it no matter how hot it is or how in it is right now.

Second,

JJ paused his typing God’s new blog in the computer lab when Jay, appearing out of no where, sat down a bouquet of eye balls skewered on wooden dowels. “For you, my love.” He purred to JJ. “Now can we finally have sex?”

“Oh how beautiful!” JJ said, taking the bouquet and smelling it deeply. “But we can’t. God told me he’s angry with me so we can’t be gay together and you have to stop making me an accomplice to murder. He’s made me a human as punishment.”

Jay kneeled down to look him eye to eye. “What is your God always going on about? Repentance? Since you’re human now, it applies to you. So let me fuck your brains out and then you can just repent.”

JJ bit his lip in consideration, looking down into the eye balls that stared blankly back at him. “Well, I suppose you’re right.” He agreed, taking Jay’s hand to be led out.

“So I guess I’ll just stay here then?” Jae Won asked from where he had sat next to JJ. “Everyone keeps forgetting me...” But there was really only one person he wanted to remember him.

He pulled up into the computer and typed,

Second, incest is okay now.

And hit submit.

\-----

Just need to take charge...

That’s what Kang Ta said.

It wouldn’t be so hard...Tony just had to get the courage to do it.

And he thought he did until he saw Woo Hyuk enter the bathrooms to take a shower, then he second guessed himself. But why? What could Woo Hyuk do? Refuse the man carrying his child?

Tony burst into the bathroom and rushed Woo Hyuk without warning just as he stepped under the water. Tony kissed him forcefully, pressing him against the wall and scrambled for his pants. Much to his shock, Woo Hyuk didn’t fight him

\-----

Minwoo rushed into the basement and stumbled when he saw the three large cages holding Lee Hyuk, Harisu, and Jong Hyuk.

“Look who it is.” Lee Hyuk stood slowly, pressing himself against the bars. “Here for a conjugal visit?”

“I need your help.” Minwoo grumbled.

“How is it I’m always the one you run to when you’re in need? Could this be love?”

“Masochism.” Harisu interjected.

“I’ve been cursed.” Minwoo said, ignoring the comments. “I can’t tell any lies. I need you to get rid of this for me.”

“You can’t tell a lie?” Lee Hyuk almost smiled. “Of course I’ll help you, but first I’ve got a question. When you were fucking me, did you enjoy it?”

Jong Hyuk sat up in his cot for that.

Beads of sweat broke out on Minwoo’s forehead, but he couldn’t keep himself from answering. “Yes.”

“I knew it.” Lee Hyuk purred. “Yes, I’ll help you with your little curse. First though, you have to do something for me.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Get me out of here.” Lee Hyuk demanded.

“How the hell am I suppose to do that?” Minwoo snapped.

Jong Hyuk interrupted them by leaping from his cot and rushed the bars of his cage. “If you are getting him out, then get me out too!”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Minwoo demanded. “You have been nothing but trouble for me and you just want to go fuck Dong Wan!”

“Look, if you think you’re no match for me then fine, leave me in here.” Jong Hyuk said coyly. “But if you’re so sure you’re better then, you shouldn’t care if I’m out of here and after Dong Wan or not. Ball’s in your corner.”

“Between the two of us, I’ve always had all the balls.” Minwoo told him.

“The key,” Harisu cut in, “Is on the far wall. Get me out of here too. You owe me.”

“Fine...” Minwoo retrieved the key and let both Harisu and Lee Hyuk out.

“I’m taking a shower before we do anything.” Lee Hyuk informed Minwoo. “Then I’m getting laid. You’re first task is to find me some piece of ass.”

“What?! How the hell am I going to convince anything get fucked by you?!”

“It’s not a matter of convincing. It’s a matter of choosing the most worthy hole for me to take. And I don’t want to go in at half mast, so choose well.”

\-----

Dong Wan sat nervously in his seat. So far, speed dating hadn’t been all that great. He had to pay to get in, and the room looked pretty....undatable. But he committed, and he was going to find a good boyfriend if it killed him.

The first man sat down in front of him.

“Oh, um...Hello, how are you?” Dong Wan asked in English.

“I speak Korean.” Hae Rang told him in Korean. “I’m full blooded Korean.”

“Look...I’m looking for a healthy relationship, please don’t lie to me.”

“Why wont anyone believe me?!” Hae Rang snapped.

“Maybe because you look like a white Desperado.”

\-----

“Oh...my God.” Tony cried, backing into the shower wall. Once clarity had come to him after the hurried riddance of his virginity, he realized he might have been a little too rushed. “You aren’t Woo Hyuk!”

“I’m Eun Hyuk...” Eun Hyuk told him.

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE WOO HYUK?!”

“Okay, who?”

Tony slapped him. “You’ve taken my virginity! How will I ever face Woo Hyuk again?!” He ran from the bathroom, still naked.

Kang Ta caught him in the hall. “What happened?! You’re naked!”

“I thought Woo Hyuk was in the shower and I slept with him but it was one of the new kids!” Tony cried.

“Ooo, which one?”

“The one that looks like Woo Hyuk...He’s something-else Hyuk.”

Kang Ta bit his lip. “And he just had sex with you? No questions asked? Maybe these new kids aren’t so bad...”

“What am I going to do?!”

“Get out of my way! I’ve got to go make some introductions!”

\-----

“Hey, Woo Hyuk.” Jae Won whispered to him, who sat three desks over. “Woo Hyuk, I’ve got news.”

Woo Hyuk ignored him, but Professor Seo didn’t, and he stopped his lecture.

“Problem?” He asked Jae Won impatiently. “Wait, didn’t you die?”

“I...Which one of me?” Jae Won asked timidly.

“Forget it. Whatever you have to say to Woo Hyuk you can say to the whole class.”

Jae Won jumped to his feet. “Gladly. You all may not have noticed,” He address the class in an authorities voice, “But there is news on the internets that God decided incest isn’t a sin anymore.”

One new student’s hand shot up and after looking at the seating chart, Professor Seo called on him. “Yes, Ryeo Wook?”

“Does that count for family pets as well?” Ryeo Wook asked.

Jae Won thought for a moment then nodded. “Yes, as long as the pet is willing and it’s a mammal, then it isn’t an abomination.”

Ryeo Wook’s face fell. “Only mammals?”

\-----

The next suitor sat before Dong Wan.

“Dong Wan.” He introduced, taking the man’s hand.

“Kim Bada.” The other returned. “Listen, before we start that ‘what’s your favorite color’ bull shit, I want to be really frank with you. Would you be willing to take an ice cold bath and then lay stiff on my bed while I have sex with you?”

“Can I at least know what your sign is first?”

\-----

Minwoo walked into the first classroom that was occupied. Seeing as how only two professors were in the school, it took him a while.

“Uh, I have a question.” He said apologetically to Professor Yoon who only shrugged and sagged in his chair. “Would anyone here be willing to have sex with this man?” Minwoo held up a photo of Lee Hyuk that he had gotten off his cyworld.

The new students looked around at each other and one timidly raised his hand.

“What’s your name, kid?” Minwoo asked.

“Sung Min.” He said as he got to his feet.

“I don’t know if you’re ready for this...How much experience do you have?”

Sung Min looked amongst his peers then began counting heads.

“Fine, that’s fine, let’s go.”

\-----

Harisu was anxious to get a shower, but more importantly, she needed to check on her dorm room. Almost everyone had left for the summer and she knew one of her catty friends would take the opportunity to swipe some of her hormone injections.

On her way, though, she was stopped in her tracks by someone she thought she wouldn’t ever see again.

“Hee Chul?” She gasped.

“Mommy?”

\-----

Lee Hyuk looked Sung Min up and down, then shrugged. “It’ll do.”

“Okay, so now can you help me?” Minwoo grumbled.

“Well, I’m going to have to fuck him first. Then I’ll be hungry, so you better get me some lunch.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Minwoo hollered. “You said you would help me!”

Lee Hyuk shook his head as if he were a patient father. “If you want me to work on you while I’m horny and starved then that’s you’re decision. I wont be held responsible for what I do.”

Minwoo grumbled, but left to find lunch without a word.

“So..” Sung Min cleared his throat. “How do we begin?”

“I can speed things up if you start crying now.”

\-----

Tony waited for Woo Hyuk in their dorm. As soon as he got Woo Hyuk seated and listening, he burst into tears.

“I’m sorry. I’ve cheated on you.”

“Cheated on me? We aren’t together. You’re only having...” The blood drained from his face, “My baby...”

“If that isn’t together, I don’t know what is-OH.” Tony’s hands flew to his stomach. “Geez, the button popped off my jeans...” He lifted his shirt to look and found he was much bigger than before. “That was fast...How soon am I suppose to gain weight?”

“You mean how fast do men who are impregnated by a demon with their ex-roommates seed get fat? I have no idea...”

“I’m glad we get to learn these things together.” Tony said sweetly and Woo Hyuk groaned.

\-----

Hee Jun took food down to the three prisoners, but only one was left. It wasn’t his business who liberated them or why, and he wasn’t going to let the other one out. So, he left the food as per usual, and hurried back to his room where his beloved boyfriend was waiting for him.

And having sex with someone else.

“Hee Jun!” Kang Ta cried, trying to push the flabby man off of him.

“What?! Who?!” Hee Jun demanded.

“I’m sorry, you were just gone so long, and I was lonely.” Kang Ta explained, still trying to get free.

“I was only gone a second!”

“Right...well...then, I thought he was you!”

“This fat ass looks nothing like me!” Hee Jun screamed. “The afro should have thrown you!”

Dong Hee primped his hair.

Kang Ta finally rolled out from under him and rushed to Hee Jun, falling to his knees. “Okay, so it was a laps in judgment...I’ll do anything if you’ll forgive me.”

“Anything?”


	3. Chapter 3

“I want to have sex with someone other than you.” Hee Jun told Kang Ta.

“But...I’m the only person you’ve ever slept with. You wont know how to do it with anyone else!”

“I’ll figure it out.” Hee Jun assured him.

Kang Ta looked heart broken, but had to agree. “Fine...You want him?” He jerked a thumb at Dong Hee on the bed.

Hee Jun didn’t even look toward the bed, but looked deeply into Kang Ta’s eyes. “Kang Ta...I want to sleep with a woman.”

“WHAT?!” Kang Ta screamed. “Why on Earth would you want to do that?!”

“If you were so concerned about who I sleep with, then you should have stayed monogamous.” Hee Jun snapped. “This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, and this is my chance.”

Kang Ta didn’t hide the hurt in his face, but didn’t argue either. “The only woman around here is the school nurse, Ayumi.”

“I’m not picky.” Hee Jun shrugged.

\-----

JJ clamped his hands on Jay’s sides as he rode him from above. Having been a cherub for his whole existence, this was his first time having sex and he may have been unsure about some of it, but for the most part, he assumed his instincts wouldn’t betray him.

That was until he dug his fingers deeply into Jay’s fleshy sides, feeling blood run over his hands.

It occurred to him that might not be right, but he couldn’t have let go if he wanted to. When Jay’s alarmed face turned to a smile, he punched his hands into the flesh until he could feel meaty tendrils of intestines. The over powering urge to reach down into Jay’s pelvis to feel him from the inside even as Jay was inside him over came him.

He didn’t stop until Jay collapsed on top of him, without any signs of being alive.

\-----

“What are you doing here?” Harisu demanded.

“I’m with the remedial class.” Hee Chul told her. “I didn’t know you were in this school...Since it’s an all male school I wouldn’t have thought you would attend it.”

“It’s the only private school that would take me with such low test scored. How are you here? Unless...you’ve done it?”

“No, I got in because I’m living as a full time male now. I still have a vagina.”

Hee Jun, who was heading to the nurse’s office, skidded to a stop. “Did you say you have a vagina?” He asked.

Hee Chul nodded.

“Can I have sex with you?!” Hee Jun almost jumped with joy.

“No!” Harisu answered for him. “You got out of that life, I wont let you go back in!”

“Mom,” Hee Chul whined.

“Mom???” Hee Jun sputtered.

“Not birth mother, of course.” Harisu told him. “I found Hee Chul selling his transexual body and I took him in. But then he betrayed me...”

“You just can’t accept that I want to be male.”

“It’s unnatural!” Harisu cried.

“Okay, so, if I don’t pay you, can I have sex with you?” Hee Jun asked Hee Chul.

“Ya, sure, why not?”

\-----

“Relationships are hard.” Tony sighed and Dong Wan, Kang Ta, and JJ nodded.

“I was at that speed dating for hours, and they were all a bunch of losers.” Dong Wan said.

“I accidentally had sex with one of the new kids, and Woo Hyuk didn’t care. And my baby is getting really big really fast.” Tony said, patting the bulge.

“I disendowed my boyfriend while he was fucking me.” JJ added and everyone nodded as if they had been there before.

“Hee Jun wants to have sex with a woman.” Kang Ta sighed.

Everyone looked at him in shock and he just shrugged, unable to bring himself to saying more, he was so disgusted.

“At least you all have boyfriends to have problems with.” Dong Wan whined. “I have no one...”

“What happened to the guy that’s mad all the time?” JJ asked.

“Minwoo? I don’t know...we’re not right for each other. I’ve tried and tried and tried to be with him but it just never works out. Now Minwoo is all pissy at me and I’m just tired of it. I mean, if he doesn’t love me, he could learn to. But what am I suppose to do about him not respecting me or taking me for granted?”

The dorm room door flew open and Hee Jun bolted in. “I found a vagina! Come on Kang Ta, I want you to be there for me while I do this.”

“Can I come?” JJ asked.

“Ya, sure, everyone come. We’ll do it in the gym so everyone can get a good view.”

\-----

Minwoo laid back on his bunk while Lee Hyuk held up a crystal on a string over his head.

“You HAVE to hypnotize me?” Minwoo asked. “Then you have to promise not to touch me when I’m out. I don’t fucking trust you.”

Lee Hyuk smirked. “I’m sated, don’t worry. Besides, been there, done that. Just relax.”

He counted back from ten, snapped his fingers, swung the crystal. Did everything the internet said to do until Minwoo was out.

“You will be able to lie at will, just like normal. Do you understand?” He asked.

“Yes.” Minwoo mumbled in his trance.

“Good. Also, you’ll be impotent from now on. Got it?”

“Yes.”

\-----

Hee Chul laid in the middle of the gym, naked, with his legs spread wide. Hee Jun stood over him/her/it, still in his clothes. He wrung his hands as he looked down into the cavern that is Hee Chul’s vagina.

“It’s like a hairy mouth.” He almost giggled.

“Get on with it.” Hee Chul grumbled.

Hee Jun looked over to where Kang Ta, Harisu, Tony, JJ, and Dong Wan looked on. “So I should just...put it in there?”

“You don’t have to do it at all!” Kang Ta snapped. “You could just forgive me! This is disgusting enough already, you’ve already punished me! To think you would even WANT to have sex with a woman is enough to...” He gagged.

“Hey, I want to do this. I have to know what it’s like, or else how will I know if I’m not really heterosexual?”

“I wouldn’t worry about that...” Tony mumbled.

“You aren’t straight!” Kang Ta yelled. “You were born gay and you’ll always be gay. Being heterosexual is a choice!”

“Will you just fuck him already?” Harisu snapped. “By the time you get to it, he’s going to be dried up and crusty.”

Hee Jun unzipped and exposed himself and everyone gasped.

Kang Ta smiled. “I’ve had him on those enhancement drugs since we were in Jr High.” He explained.

“Don’t you worry about what side effects that might be having on him?” JJ asked.

“What wouldn’t be worth having that?”

“Oh, what the fuck?!” Professor Seo demanded as he wandered into the gym. “Is this why you all haven’t been in class? Hee Jun you put your-Son of a bitch kid...Are you half horse? No, don’t answer, just put it way and get the new kid some clothes. I swear to God, if I find a goat in here...you are all in so much trouble...Everyone get’s detention!”

\-----

A new student sat in the nurses office, explaining some concerns he was having.

“Lately...my body has been acting weird...I’m growing, and there is hair where there hasn’t been before, my voice changes...”

“This sounds familiar...” Ayumi tapped her chin. “Let me Web MD it.” After a few clicks she was just about ready to diagnose. “I’ve narrowed it down to two things.” She informed him. “It’s either puberty or you’re a werewolf. Do you ever loose many hours during full moons? Do you wake up naked in the woods, covered in blood?”

“Yes!”

“Yep, you’re a werewolf. It says here I can shoot you or call the government.”

In a panic, the werewolf broke her neck.


	4. Chapter 4

“Why is it...” God visibly worked to hold his patients. “Every time I send someone down to Earth, it get’s messed up?”

“In my defense, I did kill a demon. So, God 1, Satan 0.” JJ offered.

“You can’t KILL a demon! He’s immortal, you aren’t. You’re lucky he didn’t kill you, then you’d be in Hell! I’m sure he’s there now, laughing at me with all the other abominations...” God slumped down in his chair, defeated.

“Come on now...” JJ said softly, coming over to pat him on the back. “No ones laughing at you. I bet they’re all talking about how cool and scary you are that even a mortal servant of yours could fuck-I mean mess- up a demon. And hey, I started that blog for you. Pretty soon everyone is going to see how hip you are.”

God perked up. “Really? Let me see.”

JJ moved over to the computer and attempted to log on. “You would think Heaven would be able to upgrade from dial up...” He said under his breath.

“There is nothing so important that I need to see within seconds. I’m all knowing anyway.”

“Have you seen that skateboarding dog?” JJ asked as they waited.

“No! You have to show me! Imagine...a dog that can skateboard.”

“Here is the blog.” JJ said proudly as it came up. A few seconds later, lightning struck.

“What’s this here about incest?!” God demanded.

“Incest?!” JJ leaned in to read. “Oh shit-I mean shoot- Jae Won must have put that in!”

“Bring me this Jae Won! But first, the skateboarding dog!”

\-----

“Tai Ji told me how you all got detention.” Professor Yoon said to Kang Ta, Hee Jun, Hee Chul, Harisu, Tony, and Dong Wan. “So for this detention, I’m going to teach you all about sex.”

Kang Ta perked up.

“Heterosexual sex.” Professor Yoon specified.

Kang Ta slumped back down.

“Alright, let’s see...Women have a vagina, and men have a penis. You put the penis in the vagina and then the uterus grows a baby. Got it? Okay, any questions?”

Tony’s hand slowly went up. “How long does it take before the baby...comes out?”

“Nine months.”

“Is that the same for men?”

Professor waited for the punch line, but gave in with a deep sigh. “I guess we’ll have to go into more detail then I thought...”

\-----

“Wow, are you really God?” Jae Won asked as he came face to face with God after he was taken up into Heaven. “You look like one of the teachers at Pop Culture High.”

“That doesn’t matter right now. What the Hell were you thinking, telling the World that incest is okay?!”

“I’m sorry...but I’m in love with my father...”

God gagged. “What is the MATTER with you?! It’s taken me years to groom incest out of people. I allowed it for a while, learned my lesson, and now I have to deal with it all over again. I’ve got too much on my plate for that. Look, I wouldn’t even mind about the incest thing, but your father? I just...CANNOT allow homosexuality!”

Jae Won hung his head. “You don’t understand...If you saw Woo Hyuk you would understand-”

“Wait, Woo Hyuk? Oh!” God laughed. “He is a hermaphrodite. Not a real man. Go ahead and sleep with him.”

“Thank you! Oh man! This is great-! Wait...Why if you’re so concerned with gender and sexuality...would you make hermaphrodites?”

“Look, I’m saying you can sleep with your father, are you still going to question me?”

“No!”

\-----

“Just like a cow, the woman’s breast will give milk.”

Minwoo burst into the detention hall. “Dong Wan! I’m cured, I can lie again!”

Dong Wan crossed his arms over his chest. “Why the fuck should I care? We’re broken up, and you think I WANT you to lie?”

“I just...Look. We’ve been through so much, and we have our problems, but this whole thing has shown me that I need to be happy with what I have. I can settle. Let me settle with you.”

Dong Wan’s tough front crumbled and he burst from his desk and threw himself into Minwoo’s arms.

“Oh, dude, don’t!” Tony begged.

“I can’t help it.” Dong Wan admitted. “I have low self esteem.”

“If you two are quite done...” Professor Yoon said, but was cut short when Professor Seo came rushing in.

“Something killed the nurse.”

“Oh shit.” Professor Yoon got to his feet. “What do you mean something?”

“I watched the surveillance, and it was a werewolf. One of the new students, Eun Hyuk.”

“Alright, let’s go find him. Everyone,” Professor Yoon turned to the students. “Think of heterosexual sex while I’m gone.”

“Eun Hyuk...” Tony mumbled to himself, recalling his run in with Eun Hyuk earlier.

Kang Ta turned to Hee Jun with pain in his eyes. “I’ve thought about it,” He told him, “And I don’t think I can bare you being with anyone else. I know that I haven’t been monogamous, but that’s different. I can separate love and sex. I am blase about sex, but I’ve always been true to you with my heart. I care more about you than anyone else. I could care less if everyone on the Earth besides you dropped dead. You’re different. You have a heart, and I know that when you are will someone else, it won’t be all physical. You’re too good for that.”

Hee Jun mulled over his words, then took Kang Ta’s hands in his. “I know you’re probably right. And I’ve accepted who and what you are, and I’ve looked the other way time and time again. It isn’t that you cheated with me...It’s that...I really think I might be straight.”

Hee Jun expected an outburst, but Kang Ta seemed determined. “Then I think it’s time...As long as you’re being honest, then so will I...I want a sex change.”

“Are you sure?” Hee Jun asked.

“Having another hole to be fucked in would be a dream come true.”

“Then our problem is solved!” Hee Jun cheered.

“What?” Dong Wan asked. “You’re just going to wait until he get’s a sex change? It could take years. You have to take hormones, and live as a woman for a while, you have to get therapy...and the cost of the actual surgery is really high!”

Harisu cleared her throat, getting everyone’s attention. “I might be able to help...I’ve been studying the surgery for years now, because of my own situation. If Hee Chul really is committed to his sex change,” She looked at him and he nodded. “I can perform a sex change on both of you. Swap out one’s genitals for the other’s.”

“You would do that...?” Hee Chul asked, on the brink of tears.

“I lost you once.” Harisu told him. “I won’t do it again. If that means accepting you, then I’ll do anything.”

“Let’s all meet in my room in an hour!” Kang Ta cheered.

\-----

Tony waited outside Kang Ta and Hee Jun’s room while the surgery was being done. His room was being used as a waiting room for Hee Jun to look on in (due to the window he made) since he wasn’t allowed in the surgery room.

Jae Won strutted up to Tony with a cock sure smile. “Suck it mom.” He snapped.

“Pardon?” Tony asked.

“God said I could have sex with dad, so you don’t have a chance! And another thing,” He disappeared into thin air.

Tony didn’t have time to react, because his stomach cramped, and he held it only to feel it grow in his hands. Just then, the door opened and Harisu stepped out, looking strained.

“There’s been...a problem.”


	5. Chapter 5

“What problem?” Tony asked through his teeth.

“Kang Ta’s penis...It keeps growing back.” Harisu told him.

That was enough to straighten Tony up. “What the Hell do you mean?!”

“Come.” She said, opening the door for him. Inside, Kang Ta and Hee Chul were laid out on the floor, unconscious, naked, and both had identical penises. The window had it’s shutters closed.

“Does Hee Jun know?” Tony asked quietly.

“No. I closed the window on him because he was too distracting.” Harisu huffed. “But it’s about time we wake these two up and fill everyone in.” She opened the shutters with a woosh. “GET IN HERE.” She hollered.

“How did you put these guys under?” Tony asked, looking town at the two.

“I strangled them until they blacked out.” She explained, kicking them in the feet to rouse them while Hee Jun let himself in the front.

“Is it done?” He asked.

“We’re done.” Harisu said cryptically.

“But Kang Ta has a penis...” He pointed out.

“It grew back.” Tony said apologetically.

“I was worried about that...” Kang Ta said, yawning.

“You were?!” Harisu snapped. “Why? And why didn’t you warn me?”

“Mine’s staying on, right?” Hee Chul asked, looking down at it.

“Ya, it’s sticking.” Harisu assured him.

“I thought this might happen because of my regenerative abilities.” Kang Ta explained.

“What....are you saying you’re like Wolverine?” Tony asked.

“No. I’m an immortal.” When no one reacted, Kang Ta folded his arms over his chest. “I am!”

“What are you then?” Harisu asked.

“I’m half incubus and half succubus.”

“...Wait.” Hee Chul was the first to react. “You mean you’re an incubus.”

“No.” Kang Ta said impatiently. “My father was an incubus and my mother was a succubus so I’m half incubus and half succubus.”

“That’s like saying my father was a man and my mother was a woman, so I’m half man half woman.” Tony pointed out.

“...Ya, and?”

Harisu waved her hands for them to end the conversation. “Forget it. Well, look, I’ve done all I can do. I can’t help you Kang Ta.”

“I’m sorry...” Kang Ta told Hee Jun. “I wanted to do this for us, and because of me, the last vagina alive on campus is now a penis.”

Hee Jun knelt beside Kang Ta and took his hands in his. “You tried you’re best, and that’s good enough for me. You’re mouth is all the vagina I need.”

“That’s kinda sweet.” Tony noted.

A horrific scream rivaling Jae Won’s when his corpse got raped rang out through the dorms.

\-----

“Well, it’s not me, I’ve been working out.” Dong Wan said, looking down at Minwoo’s flaccid member.

“This hasn’t ever happened before!” Minwoo thundered. “What the fuck?!”

“You’ve been under a lot of stress...and our relationship has been so rocky...This could just be a mental thing.” Dong Wan offered. “So you can’t get hard now, so what? We have time...Maybe we should just sit and talk about our feelings.”

“THAT’S THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO!”

“I’ll go order some Viagra...”

\-----

Tai Ji and Do Hyun sat beside each other in lawn chairs in the court yard. Do Hyun cradled a shot gun in his hand while they shared a bag of popcorn.

“He’ll eventually show up.” Tai Ji said. “It’s a full moon and we’re in the middle of campus. The werewolf is bound to run through here.”

“He better. These silver bullets weren’t cheap.”

“SHH! Do you hear that?” Tai Ji asked in a hushed tone.

A figure rushed into view and Do Hyun shot him straight through the head. The professors rushed over and checked the body.

“Not him.” Do Hyun sighed.

Tai Ji checked the student list. “He’s Ki Bum. How many does that make?”

“Four.”

Tai Ji marked Ki Bum’s name off the list. “Ki Bum, Ye Sung, Kyo Hyun, and Dong Hae. Maybe we should wait until we can see if the next one is at least hairy?”

Do Hyun shrugged.

\-----

Tony laid in agony on his bead while Woo Hyuk sat at the computer, checking his email.

“Woo Hyuk, do I look fat?” He asked weakly.

Woo Hyuk glanced back and did a double take. “Holy shit, you’re huge! What the fucks going on?”

“Back!” JJ said as he popped in the room. “God said as long as I got the gay sex out of my system, I could get my powers back. So, like I promised, I’m going to send Jae Won back to his time.”

“He’s gone. Disappeared.” Tony groaned.

JJ gave him a double take as well. “Wow, you’re...large. May I?” He asked as he went to touch Tony. Tony gave him the go ahead. He lightly brushed over Tony’s stomach and looked serious. “Did a werewolf ejaculate into you recently?”

“How did you know?!”

“The DNA has entered your...uterus? Whatever the baby is in, and has changed the fetus. It isn’t Jae Won anymore. That must be why he disappeared, he no longer exists.”

“Then...what is it?” Woo Hyuk asked.

“We’ll have to wait and see...”

Tony hunched over and screamed in pain.

“Luckily,” JJ said cheerily. “It don’t seem like it’ll be a long wait!”

\-----

A figure ran into the court yard and Tai Ji reached out and pushed Do Hyun’s gun down just as it was being aimed.

“It’s just one of the normal ones.”

Hee Chul ran up to them and without a word, began humping Tai Ji’s leg.

“What are you doing?” Tai Ji demanded.

“I-I can’t help it...It’s possessed! I don’t know how Kang Ta lived with this thing!”

“What are you talking about?” Tai Ji asked as he tried pealing Hee Chul from him.

“MY PENIS! IT’S GOT A MIND OF IT’S OWN!!!!!!”

Tai Ji looked down sadly as the boy mindlessly humped him, then nodded to Do Hyun.

Do Hyun shot Hee Chul point blank in between the eyes.

“I’m back!” Sung Min said, out of breath, running up with two coffees for them.

“When I said hurry, what did you hear me say?” Do Hyun asked. “Did you hear take your sweet ass time?”

“I...I’m sorry. I had to walk, and...”

Do Hyun shot him in the head.

Tai Ji coughed into his fist and slowly took the shot gun from Do Hyun. “I think I’ll hold this for a while.

\-----

Lee Hyuk slowly made his way back to his dorm room when someone stepped in front of him.

“Hello.” The other student greeted.

“You look familiar.” Lee Hyuk noted. “But I know we haven’t met. I would have fucked you.”

The student smiled, un-phased and not the least bit offended. “No, we haven’t met. I’m one of the new students. My brother went to school here last year though, I’m sure you knew him. Sung Shi Kyung?”

“Ah! Yes, you do look a lot like him. You’re his younger brother then?”

“Yes, My name is Shi Won. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and Lee Hyuk shook it. Shi Won gripped it tightly and smiled like the Cheshire Cat.

“You’re not here for school, are you? What are you doing here?” Lee Hyuk asked.


	6. Chapter 6

“My brother has some unfinished business I’m taking care of.” Shi Won told Lee Hyuk.

“What? The porn videos?”

Shi Won laughed as if it was foolish for Lee Hyuk to even think that. “That was his hobby. This is far more important. He had evidence that beneath the school there was a portal to another dimension.”

“Oh...”

“Ya...”

There was a moment of awkward silence between them.

“Would you like to come with me?” Shi Won asked.

“I’ll get my jacket.”

\-----

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” Tai Ji chanted as he ran from room to room trying to find Do Hyun. He finally found him asleep in the computer lab while Dong Wan and Minwoo were on one of the computers. “WAKE UP!” He cried into Do Hyun’s ear.

“What the Hell is the matter?” Do Hyun demanded.

“The super intendant is coming to the school!”

“So?”

“You killed-“ Tai Ji cut himself off when he saw the two students staring at him. “Come out with me...” He said as he pulled Do Hyun out of the room. “You killed half the student body!”

“You think he’s going to be doing a head count? I’m sure he’s just going to pop in and make sure we’re still holding classes.”

“But we haven’t been!”

“...Pull the fire alarm.”

\-----

The fire alarm went off and JJ and Woo Hyuk looked to each other.

“There is a fire.” JJ pointed out.

“No shit. We can’t take him outside though.”

“We can’t leave him here.”

“This hurts enough as it is! I don’t want to catch on fire either!” Tony cried in pain.

“Okay okay, I’ve got an idea.” JJ said. “We’ll take him to the basement. Heat rises and the fire is bound to be above that level anyway. Besides, then no one can see Tony giving birth.”

“If that’s what you want to call this.” Woo Hyuk muttered.

\-----

“Oh, thank God!” Jong Hyuk cried from his cell as Lee Hyuk and Shi Won entered. “Get me out of here!”

“I completely forgot you were down here.” Lee Hyuk chuckled.

“Hee Jun stopped coming down with food and I’m starving. These Darth Vadar pants are glued to my body because I shit myself and I can’t get them off!”

Shi Won ignored the two and circled the floor, tapping on parts, sweeping the ground with his hands. “Here it is.”

“Here what is?” Jong Hyuk asked, dragging himself to the cell door.

The door opened and JJ and Woo Hyuk came in, carrying Tony who was screaming.

“Didn’t you guys hear the fire alarm?” JJ asked.

“Fire doesn’t apply to me.” Lee Hyuk informed him.

“...Alright...”

“We’re doing something here, you’ll need to leave.” Shi Won told them.

“Too bad.” Woo Hyuk said as they dropped Tony on the ground. “We’re not carrying him anywhere else.”

“I’m opening a door to another dimension.” Shi Won said.

“Well, he’s going to give birth to a spawn from Hell that’s been modified by werewolf sperm. What now?” Woo Hyuk asked challengingly.

“We can both share the room.” JJ said. “You open a dimension over there and I’ll deliver Tony’s baby over here.”

“Can someone let me out first?” Jong Hyuk pleaded.

JJ nodded toward the cell and the door swung open. Jong Hyuk burst out and up the stairs.

“How’s this going to work?” Woo Hyuk asked, nodding to Tony.

“We’re going to have to cut him open...but we don’t have anything to numb him. Can you knock him out?”

“I can.” Lee Hyuk and Shi Won said at the same time Woo Hyuk nodded.

“Want to rochambeau for it?” Lee Hyuk suggested.

“Sure.”

\-----

Professors Seo and Hyun waited outside the school as the students poured out. No one counted heads to see who was missing because they couldn’t remember how many they had killed. The students that came out were: Hee Jun, Kang Ta, Dong Wan, Minwoo, Ryeo Wook, Kang In, Lee Teuk, Han Geng, and Dong Hee.

“Okay, there is no fire.” Do Hyun admitted. “The super intendant is coming and you all need to be in class!”

“What about when the fire department comes?” Minwoo asked.

“They wont be coming, the alarm doesn’t call them anymore since we don’t have fire insurance. So we’re- miss?” Tai Ji asked. “What are you doing here? This is a private school.”

The students looked around to see who he meant, then realized it was Kang Ta in a dress.

“It’s me Professor Seo, Kang Ta.”

“Why are you in a dress?”

“Since my vagina didn’t stick I decided to live as a women every other day for my Hee Junie.”

“Ya,” Hee Jun chimed in. “And on those days I can have sex with his mouth or butt, and then on the other days he can do me.”

The professors conferenced between themselves.

“You two stay in your dorm room while the super intendant is here.”

\-----

“Do you see it?” Woo Hyuk asked.

“No, do you?”

They stared down into the soup of organs in Tony’s abdomen, looking for where the baby was.

“Is it that thing? I think it has a hand.”

“No, that’s just intestines.”

“I’ve got an idea.” Woo Hyuk punched the organs randomly and a baby’s crying came from within.

“Follow the crying.”

\-----

The students that were allowed to be seen were sitting in their desks while Tai Ji stood at the board.

“When he comes in, I want you all to look engaged in what I’m saying, and participate. Got it?”

Everyone nodded and they waited with baited breath as Do Hyun could be heard escorting the super intendant down the hall and into the room.

“And the shark lays her eggs and searches for food while the male sits on them. Oh hello super intendant Lee.” Tai Ji greeted.

Lee Soo Man nodded his hello then glared out at the students.

“We’re just learning about mating habits of sharks.” Tai Ji explained. “Does anyone have any questions?”

Dong Wan slowly raised his hand. “My question is a little off topic.”

“Make it on topic.” Tai Ji growled.

“Okay, um...If one shark was to have sex with another shark and couldn’t get an erection, what would you say is the best website for that shark to get viagra on?”

Do Hyun laughed uncomfortably. “You’ll have to forgive him super intendant Lee. He’s from the remedial class that’s joined us this summer.”

“I’m one of the regular students.” Dong Wan corrected him.

“What’s going on here?” Soo Man demanded. “You just let your students behave this way?!”

“We’re having a...disagreement on how to discipline the students.” Tai Ji admitted.

“I’ll show you how to discipline them.” Soo Man pulled a shot gun out of his pocket and shot Han Geng, who was sitting in front of Dong Wan, in the chest. “Shit, I used to be a better shot, but I got arthritis.”

Do Hyun and Tai Ji exchanged glances.

“Sir, we’ve underestimated you.” Do Hyun patted him on the back. “I’d like to take you to what we like to call Corpse Hill out in the back.”

\-----

JJ yanked the baby from Tony just as the basement floor split.

“Did it!” Both he and Shi Won cheered.


	7. Chapter 7

A vortex formed in the middle of the basement floor and Shi Won and Lee Hyuk jumped into it. The suction reached JJ, Woo Hyuk, and Tony in no time and they all grabbed onto the banisters to steady themselves.

All but Tony who was still unconscious and disembowel, so he was sucked into the portal. Soon after, the door at the top of the stairs opened and Jong Hyuk was sucked into it as well.

“Are we going in?” JJ asked Woo Hyuk.

“I’m not going in. I wasn’t dumb enough to open the other dimension, I wasn’t dumb enough to stand outside the door, and I wasn’t dumb enough to...get pregnant. So why should I be punished?”

“But the man-mother of your child is in there.”

“Speaking of...” Woo Hyuk risked his hand hold to turn and see the baby JJ was holding in the crook of his arm. “It’s not even a fucking baby!”

JJ gasped and cradled the baby closer. “He is so a baby, he’s just not human. He’s a spider monkey.”

“How the fuck do two human men and one werewolf dude make a spider monkey baby?” Woo Hyuk demanded.

“As soon as you can explain how three men can have a baby I’ll tell you. Now, I’m going in because I need all the brownie points from God that I can get.”

“Go ahead.” Woo Hyuk got a firmer grip on the banister. “I’m staying here.”

JJ shrugged and let go, plummeting into the beyond. Just as he passed Woo Hyuk, the baby jumped from his arms and landed on Woo Hyuk’s face, a claw in each eye socket. Woo Hyuk screamed and fell in after the others.

\-----

Dong Wan, Minwoo, Ryeo Wook, Kang In, Lee Teuk, and Dong Hee remained in the class room as Professor Yoon and Seo took super intendant Soo Man to Corpse Hill.

“This is bull shit.” Kang In barked. “I may be a borderline retard, but I shouldn’t have to put up with summer school like this. It’s not humane!”

“Is it always like this here?” Dong Hee asked Dong Wan.

“No, they usually don’t pay much attention to the students. And vice versa.”

“Well we shouldn’t put up with this.” Kang In decided. “Let’s fight back. Who’s with me?”

The remainder of the remedial class shrugged.

“Look, I’m too busy for this shit. I don’t care if the teachers kill you pricks.” Minwoo informed him. “I’ve got bigger fish to fry.”

“You talking about the fact you can’t get a boner?” Ryeo Wook asked.

Dong Wan grabbed Minwoo’s arm before he could react. “So, okay,” He interrupted. “You’re going to call the police?” He asked.

“No, we’re going to kill them!” Kang In thundered.

“Well,” Dong Wan got to his feet. “Good luck with that. Come on Minwoo, let’s get back to the computer lab.”

\-----

By the time Woo Hyuk hit the ground (with the monkey thrown aside), Shi Won, Lee Hyuk, and JJ were already moving around. Jong Hyuk was gone and Tony lay on the floor, organs askew.

“Where are we? It looks exactly the same.” Lee Hyuk noted.

“It’s another dimension, not another planet.” Shi Won half laughed. “Let’s go up the stairs and see what it’s like.”

“Tony needs help.” JJ informed Woo Hyuk, even though he hadn’t asked. “Some of his organs were too damaged when SOMEONE punched them and -Where is the baby?” Woo Hyuk nodded toward the corner where the monkey was crumpled. JJ hurried over and picked him up. “You’re a horrible father...”

“Think of it this way, If I treat it like shit now, it wont get it’s hopes up for a good life.”

JJ sighed heavily and marched up to Woo Hyuk. “You’ve been to Hell, you know it isn’t a vacation right? Well, take it from someone who knows Heaven pretty well, you’re ass isn’t getting in unless you straighten up.”

“Look man, this whole thing was sprung on me, you can’t expect me to be father/husband of the year to my monkey son and my queer-boy-baby’s-momma.”

“Oh poor you.” JJ wined mockingly. “My life is so gross and gay now.” He snorted. “You think it’ll be any better in Hell? Gross doesn’t even cut it and those prison jokes aren’t even close to what goes on there. Try having Satan’s cock punching you in the tonsils all the way from your asshole for eternity.” He belatedly covered the baby’s ears as he said it.

“Fine! What do you want me to do? I already beat Tony up from the inside out and the BABY, if that’s what we’re calling it, already hates me. It tore one of my retinas off.”

“First thing’s first, get Tony some new organs.”

\-----

“This place...” Lee Hyuk said as he followed Shi Kung up the stairs. “It’s exactly the same as our dimension, but it’s clean.” He trailed his finger along the wall and inspected the residue. “No blood, no feces.”

“You complaining?” Shi Won asked sarcastically.

“Hell yes. But then again, it gives me a clean canvas on which to paint...”

“Wait up!” Woo Hyuk called, rushing up behind them.

The other two ignored him and didn’t look back to see him following them into the dorms. There they saw a female version (which wasn’t much different than the original) of Lee Hyuk in a wheelchair and a boney female version of Hee Jun pushing her.

“Who are you?” Miss Hee Jun demanded of the young men.

“Who are YOU?” Shi Won shot back.

“I’m Miss Lee Hyuk.” Miss Lee Hyuk said in a small and demure voice. “And this is Miss Hee Jun.”

“Oh my God, we’ve entered a world where we’re all female!” Lee Hyuk almost high fived himself. “I am so going to fuck myself! Finally!”

Miss Lee Hyuk gasped.

Miss Hee Jun patted her on her shoulder. “She’s sensitive about that subject, due to her religious faith.” She explained. “Miss Lee Hyuk just had her hymen reinforced with cement, that’s why she’s in a wheelchair.”

Lee Hyuk’s jaw dropped open.

“I get it, it’s opposite world.” Woo Hyuk explained. “So you must be bulimic.” He nodded to Miss Hee Jun.

“That’s disgusting!” Miss Hee Jun gagged. “I lace my food with Ipecac.”

Two high pitched screams cut Miss Hee Jun off and Jong Hyuk (still in his soiled Darth Vadar costume) was pushed into the hall way, followed by his female version. She was beefy and dressed in combat wear. Before anyone of the men could comment on it, she kicked Jong Hyuk onto the ground and crushed his skull under her boot. Miss Hee Jun and Miss Lee Hyuk cowered as Miss Jong Hyuk wiped the brain tissue off of her shoe with Jong Hyuk’s shirt while muttering “Fucking pod people.”

“How fantastic.” Lee Hyuk brightened again. “In this world he actually has balls...which is ironic......”

“Where is girl-Tony?” Woo Hyuk asked, unimpressed.

“P-Probably on the football field. She’s usually there, practicing.” Miss Hee Jun answered him while cautiously watching Miss Jong Hyuk thunder off.

\-----

“It smells.” Soo Man noted as he looked on at Corpse Hill with Tai Ji and Do Hyun.

“We used to burn them, but we thought this would be a good compost pile for gardening classes.” Professor Yoon explained.

“HEY!” Kang In screamed, getting the staff’s attention while Ryeo Wook, Lee Teuk, and Dong Hee stood behind him. “We’re tired of dying! Why don’t you play fair and we can have it out!”

“What? Like fight hand to hand?” Professor Seo asked.

“Ya! To the death!”

“That’s not fair.” Professor Yoon said. “There is four of you and three of us.”

“Here,” Soo Man pulled out his gun and shot Ryeo Wook through his right eye. “We’re even.”

“Good shot sir.” Professor Seo congratulated him.

“Okay, let’s all meet in the gym in an hour.” Professor Yoon agreed.

\-----

“Back. Shi Won’s staying in bizarro world.” Woo Hyuk said, coming down the basement stairs with Lee Hyuk and a hog tied female Tony over his shoulders. “I got some organs for Tony, and they should be a great fit.”

“Oh fantastic!” JJ eyed the girl who was trying to scream through her gag. “And I can masturbate with the left over parts!”

“And I’ll join you!” Lee Hyuk almost cheered.

“Everyone’s happy!” JJ clapped and the monkey joined in.

\-----

“Hey, buddy.” Lee Teuk whispered as Minwoo was leaving the computer lab in a huff.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“I’ve got to go soon, but I heard about your problem and-WAIT” He cried as Minwoo cocked his arm to punch him. “I can help you!

“How?” Minwoo demanded.

“If you want an erection,” he said as he reached into his pocket, “You should take some...”


	8. Chapter 8

“Werewolf testicles.” Lee Hyuk told Minwoo. “They are better than any drug.”

“And where the fuck am I suppose go get a-Oh ya...” Minwoo suddenly recalled one of the new students, Eun Hyuk, was one. The news had gotten around pretty fast but no one had seen or heard of him in a while. “So how do I catch him?”

“I’ve got an idea.”

\-----

JJ and Woo Hyuk laid Tony and Miss Tony side by side, both split open.

“So how do we do this?” Woo Hyuk asked.

“It’s simple. Just take from the girl what Tony doesn’t have and we’ll hook it up. Nothing to it.”

“What about the monkey-baby? Maybe if we put it back into Tony it’ll form into something worth saving.” Woo Hyuk suggested.

“Glad to see you’re still working on the father of the year thing.”

\-----

“Paging all werewolves. Paging all werewolves. Please come directly to the attendance office.” Lee Hyuk said into the intercom.

Dong Wan and Minwoo exchanged glances before Minwoo exploded in anger. “That’s your plan? What kind of stupid fuck are you? You think he’s just going to waltz in here when-“

”Someone call?” Eun Hyuk asked as he stepped inside the office.

“Get his testicles!”

\-----

Seo Tai Ji, Yoon Do Hyun, and Lee Soo Man stood on one side of the gym facing Kang In, Lee Teuk, and Dong Hee on the other side.

“So, how should we do this?” Professor Seo asked. “Match up by height or weight?”

“If we did it by weight we would have to cut three limbs off of Dong Hee. So Let’s just fight whoever is directly in front of us.” Kang In suggested. “I’ll go first.” He stepped forward and super intendant Lee Soo Man stepped forward to meet him. “So, no weapons, right? Just bare hands.”

“Sounds good to me.” Soo Man agreed and got into a wrestlers stance.

Kang In charged him and collided straight into his chest. One second they were fighting and the next they exploded into a shower of blood, chunks of organs and skin, and shards of bone.

“What in the fuck happened?!” Dong Hee cried in horror.

“His pace maker exploded.” Professor Yoon shrugged.

“Well, since he’s dead, we’ve got no job.” Professor Seo pointed out. “Let’s go see a movie or something.”

“Wait,” Dong Hee stopped them. “What about our fight?”

“Do you still want to fight?” Professor Seo asked.

Lee Hyuk shook his head. “No, I want to teach the world to love again through modern dance.”

Professor Yoon and Seo looked at each other. “The fight’s back on.” Professor Yoon announced. “He deserves to die.”

“No, let me, he’s my band mate.” Dong Hee cut Lee Teuk’s throat with a ball point pen. “Can I go to the movies with you?”

“Sure.” Professor Seo agreed. “Why not?”

“This is the best summer ever!”

\-----

Eun Hyuk wasn’t happy about getting his testicles removed, so they took his head first.

“Kind of hairy.” Dong Wan noted of the testicles.

“Well, he is a werewolf.” Minwoo said even though he eyed them as if they would attack at any second.

“Go on.” Dong Wan prompted. “You have to eat them, for the sake of our relationship.”

Minwoo nodded grimly and popped them into his mouth, trying to chew as quickly as possible.

Dong Wan couldn’t stifle his laugh and when Minwoo gave him a stern look he said “Eating testicles makes you way gay.”

\-----

Tony woke up and Woo Hyuk and JJ were there with him.

“You gave birth to a baby boy!” JJ cheered.

“A baby monkey.” Woo Hyuk clarified.

“But isn’t he cute?” JJ held the baby up and cuddled it.

“Oh, gross.” Tony couldn’t help but say.

“Thank you!” Woo Hyuk exclaimed. “That’s what I’ve been saying!”

Tony rubbed his head in agony. “Everything has gone so wrong...I was hoping this baby could bring us together but it’s not even human...I can’t stand it. Woo Hyuk, I really have feelings for you, and I know you don’t feel the same way, but if you could just put that aside and have sex with me once I’ll leave you alone and we’ll put the baby in a zoo.”

“Deal.” Woo Hyuk jumped at the offer.

“You two are horrible...I’m keeping the baby.” JJ informed them.

\-----

Months later...

“You’re pregnant again?!” Woo Hyuk screamed at Tony. “How?!”

“I have no idea!” Tony said honestly.

“I told you not to put that chick’s uterus in him, but no one listens to me.” JJ muttered.

“Can things be any worse?!” Woo Hyuk demanded.

“At least you’re not Minwoo.” JJ noted. “After eating those werewolf testicles he’s like five times gayer and can’t get aroused unless Dong Wan is in a plushie costume.”

“But they finally found a good medium in their relationship.” Tony said. “Sex and cosplay.”


End file.
